Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Collateral Beauty

A wish to speak to Badshah Khan
Granted with the Twitterverse coming together like never before.
A desire to ruffle the handsome, young doctor’s hair
Fulfilled; with laughter all around.
A request for a better view,
Position of the bed changed.
Surrounded by her children,
Hopefully, painlessly, she breathed her last.

Friends, family mourned her passing,
Stories in their hearts, tears in their eyes, smiles on their lips.
In her final years,
She taught everyone she interacted with
How to live—love, laugh and learn.
Her last act of mothering,
Maa put a magnifying glass
On the collateral beauty around us.

Over the last two decades, Maa and I had started to believe that everything happens for a reason; everything happens for the best and everything happens only when we are ready for it. Maa passed away on 24 October 2017. Days after Diwali, saving the festival for all those who loved her—her last act of kindness towards her friends and family. 

I think I was ready to begin the process of healing, when one day I saw the thumbnail of the movie Collateral Beauty starring Will Smith on Amazon Prime Video. I proceeded to watch the movie. The movie made sense to me on many levels. My first reaction of course was that I should call Maa and tell her about it. I did the next best thing. I told Vivek about it and he watched and liked the movie as well. And I hope that Akshat will see this movie too, whenever he is ready. 

The online reviews for the movie are not that flattering. But for me, it came just at the right time with just the right message. I am celebrating more than I did normally. I am celebrating events, people and each day as they come. Almost as if I need to celebrate on her behalf as well. Over the last two months, I have drawn and painted more than I ever did before. I keep myself as busy as I can.

The fact that I read blogs of friends after years today and the fact that I am writing again today, gives me hope that the process of healing has begun.

I hope that I will be strong enough to do a yearly review this year as well, knowing very well that Maa would not be the first to like it and share it on her Facebook and Twitter timelines. 

1 comment:

Sarika said...

Mom is irreplaceable, period. You will remember her ever moment of everyday. The pain reduces but never goes away. With her going, a part of you and big part of your childhood goes away.

Fortunately not memories of her will be poignant. Some will take a different form such as you will start liking and doing the things she did ( although you didn’t care for them before), you will follow the things she said more rigorously and without any reminders, you will feel more driven to be the best you can be because she wanted this for you, who will enjoy life more and be happy most of the times because it would make her content and happy. And many such things.

Mothers are the only species that, in life and in death, leave behind only the best for their child. No one inspires you like a mother and we are fortunate to have had that inspiration for a long time in our life.
My mother passed away 5 years ago and I’m still inspired, motivated, loved, chided by her everyday. And I know you will too!