Let's Start the New Year!

Is it too late to start the year? Some of you might say yes. Some, I hope, will be sympathetic to the cause of procrastination and say, ‘No. no. Line wahin se shuru hoti hai jahan tum khadi hoti ho. Toh saal kyun nahi.’ And I, gleefully, will choose to listen to the second group. The group of my personal cheerleaders. The chairperson of this group, I am sure, is incontestably my mother. A relatively new entrant to the game, yet one of the most important players around is my partner, V. My friends for life, K and G, will call the moon, the sun if I asked them too. Also, I am sure they will convince others in their lives to do the same if they knew it would make me happy. The others in the squad I am not naming because their role as a cheerleader might make other less fortunate jealous.

So the New Year begins twenty two days into the month of January. I write my first post of the year. And I promise to return with posts more frequently this year than the last. At least one post per month if not more. I promise. Mostly to myself.

Over the last year I have been away from the blog for several reasons. I have been writing and working towards the manuscript of my first book. I hope this year I make sound progress on that front. I have been busy being a homebody. I have enjoyed every moment of being a wife, a daughter-in-law and a sister-in-law. I prioritized, willingly, my new family over almost everything else. And I am glad I did. Earlier I was at the center of my world. Now, my world has expanded. I travelled a fair bit. I read a little bit as well.

There were other stars in my galaxy. However, things are not the same. I carefully took steps to distance myself from some situations and certain people who increased the negativity quotient in my life. There have been certain collateral damages as well. Not that I have not been hurt by the overnight change in attitudes of people I trusted to be my closest friends. However, that is the story of last year. This New Year I want to begin by letting go of what has been left behind or has changed course. I am looking forward to meeting a horde of new people. Making new friends. Retaining a few from the old batch.

I will take better care of my health. My fitness will be a priority for me. I will consciously reduce the junk intake and will gravitate towards healthier food options. I will exercise. I will lose weight. And most importantly, I will stay happy. I will also be particular about eliminating the negativity intake. If last year has taught me anything at all, it is that even the most seemingly positive people can ooze negativity if what you are doing does not fall in line with what they believe is correct. Shedding (weight and negativity) is going to be the motto of 2016.

I would also like to pick up my camera more often. I will post at least once a month on my photography blog as well. I need to rekindle my love affair with Delhi. I must admit it took a backseat over the last two years as I became busy in being romanced by V. I have an ulterior motive in rekindling my affair. I want V to fall in love with the city as well. 

The travel goals remain unchanged. Several old places need to be visited afresh and there are many newer places that are waiting to be explored. I will take at least one trip where I will be in digital isolation—no phones, no internet connectivity and no tabs. Basically, no devices except for my camera maybe.

I will learn more about gardening. This season my rose bush will flower no matter what! And I will not buy kadi pata or dhaniya after June. Six months of my life I will dedicate to the flourishing of these plants.

I will read more. At least one book a month. The more the merrier. I already have three on my reading shelf. I will make some bookmarks. I will invest in good books and in a good bookshelf. I will try to meet/correspond with authors I like. I will surround myself with good books, good readers and good authors. The love affair with words will continue.

I will continue to use colour pencils on paper and try to stay within the lines as far as possible. I will write more letters. I will call more relatives and friends to ask them how they are doing and to discuss the weather. I will watch good TV programmes and good movies. I will not watch Bigg Boss ever again. Season 9 was enough to check it off my bucket-list as something to be done once in a lifetime. Now, I am done forever.

I will invest more money and time in owning board games and playing with family and friends. I will host friends and family for game nights, wine, beer, whisky, tea, coffee, finger foods, lunches and dinners. I also promise to be more creative in giving gifts. Some of the lucky few will receive handmade stuff. The gifts might not be perfect in shape but remember to appreciate the effort and love I will be putting into them. You have been instructed in advance. Feel free to invite yourself over or to ask for gifts. I will try not to disappoint you on both the counts.

I am taking a huge risk by publicly making these declarations. I know of a handful of people in my life who will not let go of a single opportunity to wave this blog post at me every, or any, time I falter on any of these promises. And I am leaning on them to do just that.

Ranting

More often than not, I am an atheist because I cannot take the pressure of performing pujas and other rituals. Mostly because as soon as the word puja is said the elders start scolding constantly and I just don’t have the patience for the repetitive instructions.

However, since I am still a part of civilization, my name labels me as a Hindu and everyone is eager to brand me as one. Also, everyone I know is busy getting offended. I am yet to join the club but now the push of the constant nudge is becoming sharper.

‘The words pork or ham should not be used in the text.’

‘Never show Muslims offering namaz at a masjid—through photographs or illustrations.’

‘Be very careful when adding a photograph of any masjid. We don’t want protestors banging our doors.’

These sentences have been bombarded at me or around me several times over the last few years. I will confess that I have also mouthed them when instructing those who joined the ranks after me.

I have seen colleagues who relish pork, bacon, ham, and the likes, whisper any talk of these delicacies so as not to offend the sentiments of any Muslim colleague in the earshot. However, the same people have shouted out their love for beef without any heed for any Hindu sentiment that they might hurt. The Muslims have joined the conversation without any hesitation. The beef slabs have been kept in the common fridge where devout Muslims and Hindus, alike, keep their food.

There is a marked difference in the way Hindu sentiments and Muslim sentiments are handled.

A devout Muslim wears a prayer cap to work. He has shunned western clothes and wears a short pyjama with a kurta instead. He goes for namaz three times during office hours. Meetings that he is required to attend are arranged around his namaz timings. Hindu customs like fasting during Navratri, Mata ki Chowkis, and bhajans in temples are a butt of jokes all year round. Bosses have told Hindu colleagues that work should come first. Social commitments (pujas, mostly) should always take a back seat.

I am yet to come across a news article where a cartoon was drawn or a painting found a canvas depicting Hindu gods in the nude and the artists were gunned down. Protests have been organized, some might have turned violent but a planned terror attack? Naah! I have not heard about it.

In fact several Hindus have time and again fought in favour of the artists and have upheld the right to freedom overlooking the religion of the artist in question. But why is it that people who have rationalized the Charlie Hebdo attack on various social media platforms are the same ones who have been circulating nude art of Krishna and Radha and other Hindu gods to put across their point against ban on porn? Why is it that the sensibilities of one community should be protected and the others are open to ridicule?

Why does one god deserve more respect than the other?

Every time an argument or a discussion on the same lines occurs, I find myself in a minority. I don’t judge Muslims for being Muslims or Hindus for being Hindus. This doesn’t mean I am not judgmental. I judge people on the basis of their intelligence, stupidity, kindness or wickedness. Religion should be limited to holidays and celebrations with families as far as I am concerned. I am a minority I guess. There might be many friends who might get angry after reading my rant. Elders might think I am too naïve. Maybe they are correct. I was taught long ago that equality means equal opportunities for all. Minus the judgment. I always took it for truth. I always thought that secular means treating everyone with respect. And now, despite being respectful and nice always, I find people not even taking a fraction of a second before offending my sentiments.

I am judged for being a Hindu, constantly. If I agree with what Modi says one day, I am told I belong to the saffron brigade. If I don’t think that the hanging of a terrorist was a wrong move by the government, it is assumed that I support the Gujarat riots and the atrocities against the Muslims of the state. If I point out that karsevaks were burned alive in a well-planned attack while returning from a pilgrimage without any instigation, eyebrows are raised. Human lives were lost. Not in a natural calamity but well planned, organized ways. It was wrong. Whether it was a Hindu son who lost his parents in the Godhra train carnage or Muslim parents who lost their son in the ensuing riots, the loss was definite and permanent and ghastly.

Then why is it that I hear no sympathy for one and the other is an answer to all arguments?

I abstain from posting on these matters. I restrict my conversations to films, that too entertainers like SRK films. I live in this constant fear of being judged because I see all criminals as criminals. All crimes as crimes against humans rather than one religious community.

I am a Hindu by birth; a minority in these times of quick judgments.